Dave did make things a little more interesting than we anticipated. He’s so accustomed to swank amenities in Star Trailers, he’s used to kowtowing from even the top tier producers and directors in the industry, we were a little unprepared to “handle” him. We think the real problem was that his passion for Farmscape and the campaign boils so earnestly and runs so deep that it got a little explosive, but judge for yourself. We had a lot of takes like this one:
So there you have it: Vote for Farmscape!
If you are a business-friendly celebrity looking to endorse the largest urban farming company in California and also the world’s first corporate candidate for mayor, please contact us to book a film shoot. The Friends of Farmscape SuperPAC would love to hear from your agent.
Is Farmscape a citizen?
... a corporation created by and doing business in a particular state, is to be deemed to all intents and purposes as a person, although an artificial person, an inhabitant of the same state, for the purposes of its incorporation, capable of being treated as a citizen of that state, as much as a natural person.
Is Farmscape eighteen years of age?
If you click through this ad, you find the “Slowing Down on a Farm” video here: http://www.wealthmanagement.ml.com/WM/Pages/Working-With-Merrill-Lynch.aspx
It seems deceitful to encourage people to save up so much to buy a whole farm, just to experience the joys of food production. You don’t have to save and save to retire on a big plot of land in the middle of nowhere, just to grow your own blueberries. Has your career taken you and your family to the city? Bring the farm along for the ride. Why wait for retirement?
The second ad was a political ad, and it fits right in line with our campaign platforms. It suggested, simply, that “Corporations Know Best!” And it's true, we do.
Obviously, corporations need to do more for this country. It seems like we take and we take, and yet we never show up for the hard work of civic service. Campaigns are tough and expensive, and serving in a political office is a hard, often thankless job. We are very powerful, immortal, plural beings.
So then why do biological human beings always get stuck doing this hard work, while us corporate persons get to do all of the fun stuff, gobbling up money in the private sector where there are less rules? Why does society allow us to carry on like this, without ever giving back?
It’s a trend that’s gotta change. It’s time a corporation got its hands dirty doing real public work. Vote for Farmscape, the first corporation with its hand held high in the air, volunteering to work hard for the constituents of the City of Los Angeles. Our other hand, of course, is a foot deep in rich soil, working in some good, healthy, organic amendments to spur new growth for the city.
We will lead by example, from the Mayor’s Office, and we will help the residents of Los Angeles grow their blueberries right here and right now without waiting for retirement.
Our Campaign Manager Sean Williams gives an update on Farmscape's impressive progress in our bid to be LA's first Corporate Mayor.
Fundraising is on track, we're galvanizing support from all corners of the city. Our core message, that LA should be ReFarmed, is resonating. And we make a strong, entirely unfounded implication that perhaps other candidates are financing their campaigns using proceeds from elephant poaching and ivory theft. Our $1000/hr Beltway campaign consultants told us: "emphasize that you are not doing something, and voters will assume that everybody else is." Ah yes, we get it. Wink, wink; spin, spin.
In follow-up to Beutner's exit from the campaign to be Los Angeles' next mayor, the LA Times wrote an article last week declaring the "waning influence of business at City Hall." Real estate developers, investment bankers, and the other traditional "business elite" are on the ropes, according to the Times, as "organized labor and environmentalists... enjoy increasing influence."
Obviously, something must be done. Business fits politics like a hand inside a gardening glove. But with Beutner the investment banker gone, where to turn?
Fear not, business community. Farmscape is here to take up the torch! For Los Angeles and for business in general! Nothing would ignite the business community more than electing the very first corporate-person mayor.
Better still, Farmscape will work to turn the idle assets of LA's landscapes -- public, private, residential, and commercial alike -- into thriving farms. A grassy lawn is a lost opportunity.
Grow something, Los Angeles! Don't waste all that beautiful sunshine spilling down year-round in the world's most amazing climate. Let's build up our soil. Let's plant some seeds. Let's till, baby, till!
There's a big announcement today in the race for Los Angeles Mayor: candidate Austin Beutner, one of Farmscape's competitors, has called it quits.
We expect this to be the first of many surrenders, as the pool of candidates one-by-one recognizes that the time for ReFarm has come. It must be hard trying to wage a campaign against the power of a movement who's time is now, and against a candidate with the reach and resources of an LLC. We sympathize with Mr. Beutner, we don't envy him the task of campaigning for office as one solitary human being against a rapidly growing urban farming venture.
We'd like to thank our supporters. We hope that they read this piece of news the same way that we do: human candidates are feeling the heat. The path to the mayor's office gets clearer and more certain with each passing day, and we can expect more capitulations soon.
We're looking forward to Mr. Beutner's endorsement. Mr. Beutner was known as the "jobs czar" in this race. As a service business, Farmscape knows a thing or two about jobs. We are certainly prepared to pick up where Beutner left off and build out some green collar jobs working the soil of the city for delicious returns.
We are one step closer to taking over City Hall and turning the wheels of government toward our cause to ReFarm Los Angeles.
Early in our campaign, we learned that our first hurdle on our path to being Los Angeles' next mayor would be registering to vote as a corporate citizen.
Last week we filled out our voter registration, and took it to the County Recorder. The staff at the Recorder's Office, both our local branch and then the Main Office, were incredibly friendly and helpful. They did seem to think we were confused, or maybe even dumb, but they were very good sports as they patiently explained to us the difference between registering a business and registering to vote.
When they finally understood that we were trailblazing new territory for corporate suffrage.... well watch the video:
Here's the text of the addendum we submitted with the application:
Addendum: The Case for Corporate Vote
While Farmscape LLC is not a biological human citizen by the classical conception assumed on your form, Farmscape hereby registers to vote within the state of California based upon the new standard for corporate personhood affirmed in the Citizens United v Federal Elections Commission ruling. The Supreme Court has asked that corporate groups of citizens not be discriminated against in their participation in the political process, therefore Farmscape intends to register its candidacy for Mayor of Los Angeles. To qualify as a candidate, Farmscape must first register to vote.Facts:
- Farmscape is a corporate citizen of the United States of America and a corporate resident of California, established in Claremont in 2008.
- Farmscape is not biologically 18 human years old.
- All Farmscape managers, staff, and equity holders, however, are over 18 years of age.
- All Farmscape managers, staff, and equity holders are US citizens and residents of California.
- In total, Farmscape managers, staff, and equity holders have much more than 18 years of experience operating the business under the corporate form, meaning the assemblage of people is more than 18 human years old.
You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations. There are no peoples....There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multinational dominion of dollars. Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, reichmarks, rins, rubles, pounds, and shekels... We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Mr. Beale. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business...
I hope they don't give us any trouble after we explain this to them.
- ← Previous
- Page 1 of 2
- Next →